We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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