It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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