It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
