well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
