you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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