maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
