JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
