do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
