we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
