I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
