Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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