If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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