the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
