Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
