She announced her abortion via fbk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
