Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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