Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
