bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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