'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
