You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
