I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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