Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
