I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the liver wants what the liver wants
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
