I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
