I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
look no pants
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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