At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
