And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
