Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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