Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have post one night stand depression
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
