im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
