You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize