3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
