It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
