i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
