proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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