Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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