it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
