Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
