just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
