you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
