Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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