Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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