She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
