Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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