maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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