He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize