So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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