I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize