Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
