I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
