I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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