The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
