Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
