their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
