We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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