Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
