they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
