Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The power of my boobs compel you
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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