The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize