I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
