I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
