He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
