i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
