We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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