he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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