Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
