The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
