I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
