Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
