he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
